I’ve managed to float through 50+ years of life without being responsible for a loved one’s estate. When my mother passed away, my father and sister handled it. When my dad passed away, my sister handled his estate. Nine days into this year brought with it the sobering fact that my sister had a short time left to live and I would be tackling her estate sooner rather than later.
I knew she had her affairs in order – it was what she did for a living for 27 years and was, if nothing else, fastidious in her record-keeping. She was suffering from congestive heart failure, among a number of other illnesses and knew her time was short – thus she prepared everything ahead of time to make it easier on me.
I will always be eternally grateful for her preparation. For not only did I have to handle her estate this year, but prepare our own and set up my mother in-law’s as well.
Decide how you want your will set up
Firstly, one has to get over the unpleasant thought that they are going to die. We’re all going to die someday and it’s best to face that fact, put it behind you and set things up so your loved ones have your wishes clearly defined.
My parents always had wills – one for each of them – and we knew where they were kept. With that in mind, I pushed to get one done as soon as I learned I was pregnant with my son years ago. However, having your will done when you are 32 also means it may need to be updated as you age.
I purchased a software program about 10 years ago and used the templates provided to re-do our will as simply as possible. This step requires one to have the will notarized in front of witnesses, but in lieu of hiring an attorney, this is a great way to start.
There are also a number of legal websites that offer will services for a small fee, and for simple estates, these can also be completed without breaking a sweat.
After handling my sister’s estate, I knew what an executor would need in his/her hands, so I had our wills prepared with that in mind. For $500 I hired an estate attorney.
It’s worth every penny.
An estate attorney knows the probate/estate laws in your state, what papers have to be filed and all the legalese. One thing I loved about doing this was that our attorney knew how to set up our estate so we wouldn’t have to go through probate when one or both of us died. This effectively meant she would not be hired to handle probate down the road.
The money is well-spent because you receive a legal notarized will, power of attorney papers and health care directives.
One day you, your executor or power of attorney will need one of those legal documents.
The next step is to make a list of what should go into your will, along with questions for your attorney. For fairly simple estates, you don't even have to list out all your possession within the will – just the larger ones, such as property. Possessions – furniture, paintings, jewelry, etc., can be listed out separately and attached to the will for your executor to disperse after the will has been read and gone to probate.
Probate laws can make or break your will – Use "transfer on death"
My sister’s will was a simple as could be – two pages long. She’d drawn it up herself and had it notarized, but had not kept up on new laws in our state, thus we had to go through probate, which meant a minimum six-month waiting period, attorney fees, court filing fees and publishing legal notices through the local newspaper. It was expensive.
I advocate hiring an attorney to set up your will. However, if you prefer to set up your own will, you can search online for “probate laws” in your state and usually find a downloadable PDF in which the laws are explained.
Most people are unaware that they can execute a “transfer on death” (TOD) for property and motor vehicles. Usually you can set up your motor vehicle title this way at the time of making your purchase or when registering it. A TOD (beneficiary deed) for property can likely be done at the county clerk’s office or at the time of sale.
One of the benefits of TOD on property is that it prevents children from assuming control of a parent’s property and then moving them to a nursing home so they can sell the property out from under them – essentially it helps prevent elder abuse.
You can also set up retirement accounts and other securities with a TOD through your financial advisor. This also can release funds into your beneficiaries hands that may be needed long before probate (if your estate goes through probate) is completed.
Again, using an attorney to set up these provisions in a will can help alleviate problems that might arise. One such problem that can arise is that a sometimes a TOD is set up without a provision should the beneficiary predecease the owner.
An attorney can target the usual possibilities and tackle them within the will.
Because my sister’s will did not include transfer on death, her vehicle and her home became part of the probate, along with all items in her home that I, her only heir, chose not to keep.
Every item I chose to sell had to go to auction and proceeds went into an estate account. After the six month probate period was concluded, I paid substantial fees to the attorney and court.
I don’t want to think about my death, let my children handle it
It is a mistake to think this way. So many of us do not want to face death. Even my sister, who quite matter-of-factly knew for two decades she had a fatal condition and spent years preparing her home and estate to make it easier on me, still spent weeks in denial after the doctor told her that her disease was in end-stage.
I have a relative who is a cancer survivor, owns his own home and has a number of grown children. He still does not have a will. It’s a recipe for disaster.
The next installment of this series will cover ways to prepare your estate outside of the will preparation.
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